The Members
Shenmue Dojo (Ryudo's Home) The Shenmue Dojo is Ryudo's home where people come to waste their time and masturbate over peoples avatars. When people haven't got their dick in their hand they can be seen typing mean things about people who made a fool of themself in one topic. All Nick did for example was show pictures he took of another member OL wacking one off to a picture of Kazuma. Many got upset by this mostly Ryudo as this was like telling someone their wife of 30 years had been having an affair. Members The Shenmue Dojo is filled with trolls who just argue bullshit and then go off topic by saying boot to the head or are you Nick? Ryudo Someone who turned blue after eating a whole bucket of blue paint in a suicide attempt after his cat went missing. It's believed he got drunk one night and did surgery on himself replacing his penis with a Wiimote. That's the only reason he still plays the Wii as he gets off on it. Hides a hidden persona deep within said to be killed off when some random asshole banned him. The legends say the name of this persona is "Bluecast" and can only be reached when he is having a bad day and rips through alternative dimensions to wreak havoc on assholes of the Dojo like n00bs...and Jokatech. For a long time, he was the only mod worth a damn, thankfully his fellow Technicolor brother, Orange, joined him and they now "practice" incest (after pretending to be disgusted by Drakengard). 'Crimson Ryan' ' ' Comes from Bristol and drives a tractor. Ryan also has a fetish for people who wear cosplay outfits. He can usally be seen at conventions having his photo takenwith people in cosplay while sporting a stiffy. Attempts to come across as rather ordinary compared to his Dojo friends; when in reality he eats baby deers, sticks his penis into tree trunks and dances to Britney Spears tunes at night. Oppy Australian, therefore a racist heavy drinker who hits his wife. After looking at the 'What You Last Ate' topic Richard Simmons believed he may be over 50 stone. After posting pictures it was obvious he wrestles Kangaroos in order to excercise. He is also known to host porn nights where his male friends come round and toss each other off. What he didn't know was his dog see all of this and tried to kill himself by choking on Oppy's dildo. Despite being having an avatar of what appears to be Rihanna, it is actually a picture of Rihanna's twin brother, "Rupert" who underwent plastic surgery to change sex and change it's name to "Poison". Oppy knows this all too well and actually secretly vines to one day reach the levels of sheer perfection that Rihanna's twin has (and undergo a change of sex; his name to change to "Oplz". Kiba A robot that types in the scripts from old 50's short films to teach people of dangers most racist. Often wishes he was born in England, his romantic outlook on the country will provide for hilarity when he eventually visits and realises the country is a dump which is completely devoid of any of the charms he believes exist there. His serious attitude on the Dojo would lead one to think he is English, but do not be mistaken by this. When Spokane made the 'Ask Kiba' topic many thought it could be one of the funniest topics but Kiba can't take a joke and ignored it. So to get back at him people just ignore him. Riku The millwall dickbutt, When he is not wanking over pictures of Millwall football club, he is generelly found prancing though gaybars and showing off his pokemon tattoo. Is actually a triple agent pretending to be working for Yama and Axm, (reporting back his status on what the others are doing) but in a shocking twist is actually working for Orange's Lightning, which will one day be the admin to rule them all. Also suffers from unexpected ejaculation whilst playing Kingdom Hearts. 'OL' A orange traffic barrel monster, now mod. Often writes gloriously long gaming reviews, which no one reads, but everybody praises in fear of him tearing them apart in case of disagreement. His word is gospel, and the Dojo knows this. Owns an arsenal of anal destruction weapons, and is not scared to use them on n00bs. His Orange Lightning is said to be able to penetrate through any area. Unbeknownst to both the members of the Dojo as well as to Orange himself, his Lightning is said to have a mind of its own and will one day rule over the Dojo as a brutal dictator, penetrating through anybody that stands in his way.1 Henry Spencer An asshole Englishman with a chip on his shoulder at times. Back in 2003, he developed a knack for annoying most members of that time for his ignorance and bad spelling. Since then, he has changed and matured with the rest of the old time members. Henry has a split personality disorder and calls his other personality his brother. No one knows what makes his angry side come out but most think that part of the brain is linked to when he hears hatred for Mass Effect. No, no, no! NO! His brother is REAL, stupid! Has a certain resilience to annoying pricks who moan about their life all the time, which often leaves him at odds with the likes of Jokatech. Spokane Extremly funny and charismatic, he is the dojos ambassador for the town of Spokane, It is rumored that he trains terrorists with flight simulator. He claims that Brotherman has took him under his wing and can be seen asking him questions in order to one day take over the pimping company. Kenny When not making comics replacing himself with a pig Kenny can be found following Roger Ebert. It's said that Roger Eberts hate for games comes from the time Kenny made him play NMH 2 with him naked. None of this was done with Roger's consent. Kenny is writing a script at the moment for a film after the failed Dojo movie based on how to get away with doing no work at the office and just surf the internet all day. This is said to also be based on his life, sadly. Many think that him doing no work may be why he can play Heavy Rain and NMH2 multiple times a day. The Dojo generally expects that he'll finally put himself down one day Kurt Cobain-style realizing he can never emulate the fabulous original career of David Cage. Gingefners There was a time when people liked him sadly money can be a problem when you have to buy him hairdye as a present evreyday. He would always try his hardest to put down Beedle but this was just to hide his true feelings. The latest update is they plan to adopt a child. He often sought solitude by running off to the Shenmue UK Forums where he was met with two other loners that refuse to conform and side with the Dojo. Alas, he often finds himself at odds with Joe Pesci, another loner from the barren landscapes of Shenmue UK. LawXiu (小朋友） A chinese man stuck in an english mans body. When LawXiu isnt posting on the dojo, he is making love to one of his 25 busty asian wives. Secretly masturbates to photographs of Dojo members. Mittens The Manchester chav who makes it his duty to point out stuff to make people feel like class A cunts. He has drove 26 people to suicide since they disagreed with him over The Dark Knight. Once enjoyed a brief stint as a troll that eventually drove out the evil Moderator, Axm as well as the Dojo's local loser, FRASIER. He later hung up his mantle as the Troll and begun work on his personal life (MCing the biggest clubs in Madchester, nigs!), which by the way, is a work in progress. Self proclaimed comic book nerd, he enjoys jousting with Orange Lightning about certain characters, events et al that induce everybody else on the Dojo to eternal slumber. Brotherman One of the coolist guys on the forum who only hangs around for to give to those less fortunate. After having sex with 57 women Brotherman turned on the TV to see a CNN report on nerdy guys who needed women. He soon typed in desperate virgin and found a link on google from one of Kibas long posts. He has since stayed and often hands out women in contests. He often answers questions to those that are less fortunate to not even begin to grasp his awesome. Jeff The sweater lord who came back to save the Dojo. He now waits for his time to battle. Nick Nick takes his job very serious in keeping note on all personal details of the Dojo members. Many felt this was him being creepy but he just wanted to be able to contact someone in case of an emergency. It still didn't explain why he made a topic on how big evreyones mum's breast where or why in the love of the monkey lords that he wanted. to know everybody's credit card numbers. He is currently stalking Crimson Ryan and Who Really Cares. ShenDream Shendream started internet life with his own forum dedicated to Shenmue. Following his success in France he was then asked by Yama to become a mod in the dojo. Since he started he hasn't bothered to post anything but has taken it upon himself to follow people he doesn't like and edit foul language out of their posts. He will soon get bored with it though or maybe he will realize it is forum rape and he should fuck off back to his own forum. After editing and deleting more of Oppy's posts,Oppy smoked a bowl then proceeded to beat Shendream with a kangaroo like a club. After Shendreams mod badge fallen and Shendream was just another french lurking bleeding cunt Oppy went to make himself a bbq pork vegimite sandwich. Axm Some cockhead moderator that nobody seems to like. Quite often tries to sound smarter and more respectable then other members, even though they all think he is an idiot. Really doesn't contribute any valuble information to the Dojo, and was only made a mod after bouncing on Yama's cock. One day he may stop posting at the dojo after realising that everyone hates him, and continue with his passion of inserting carrots into his japs eye (penis hole). Axm also has a passion for podcasts and since he has listened to so many you think he would get good at doing them himself. Instead when someone says they don't like it he has one of his notorious hissy fits, quite common when he doesn't feel he is getting his own way, before either insisting he is banned, or bans himself. On one occassion, banned several others too, taking them down with him. Mr. Rod Another one of Yamas gay lovers, All Mr. Rod seems to talk about at the dojo is how good his and Yamas work is. There is an urban ledgend about the origin of his name. It is said that one night during steamy hot sex, he pulled his penis out of Yamas anus to find a fish on the end of his knob, from that day forward he has been named 'Fishing Rod' or just plain simple 'Mr. Rod'. Jokatech19 Jokatech or 'Joka' is a dickhead, plain and simple. He has no friends in real life so he posts all his life problems on the Dojo. What he doesnt seem to understand is that nobody gives a fuck. Since the day he joined every one of his posts have been downright idiotic, and have showed no signs of improvement even after being belted over the head repeatetivly by other Dojo members. It is still unknown whether he is partially retarted, or just an idiot. Joka has also made his life mission to kill Ryudo since he has a cat. beedles fagot 'Supa ' ' ' A sega fanboy who only posts to raise his post count. Often found whining about the dojo and carrying around his Sega dreamcast which has sonic stickers attached to it with cum stains. When people call him a fanboy he seems to think evreyone else is wrong and angry. He still wastes his time posting 100's of topics filled with SEGA news which must take to long since he still has dial up. It's rare others are able to say get a life. 'Scottmania' We hardly knew ye. His one post contains stuff that's still quoted to this day, including "First i'll tell you i'm a real live homo", "Not all girls are pretty", "if oneguy dies the other is entitled to the stuff", "Last time I looked I wasn't deformed", "someone tampered with me when i was just an egg", "if you have any issue with gays, take it up with me" and most famously "if you ever cross my path for real and spout ur antigay shit i'll floor ya, and then tease you for being beaten up by a poof.". Riku yearns for his return. Clint Clint is in love with two things. 1. What game developers are aiming to do. 2. The male body. He works towards the second one by pumping himself full of roids and takes his rage out on David Cage fans. The reason for the high crime rate in Manchester is down to Clint's roid rage and nothing else. Has a near obsessive state of mind regarding Final Fantasy, continually proclaiming them as being perfect, speak against them and feel the almighty unstoppable fist penetrate through your skull. Clint also has a huge problem with the Wii as the controllers aren't strong enough for his arms. During one game of Wii Boxing he went through 12 Wiimotes, 3 TV's and a family member. He is a clone of Nathan Jones. Rens of Heavens Ren has a serious problem. (See Nick entry and replace Dojo member with people who can't act) Sailors? Who the hell is this butt pirate? 'Joe Pesci & Yusuke' Siamese twins who share one body but two heads each with thier own personality. Joe is a well known intellectual snob film critic who looks and sounds exactly like the famous actor and his brother Yusuke is known as a bastard who steals wallets and masturbates to Julian McMahon pictures. DockeN Not much is known about him but his nude slippery corpse was found under a giant mound of sticky tissue and lube bottles next to his PC as 2 girls 1 cup was playing in an endless loop. New Owners When Yama took over the Shenmue Dojo he made it clear that it would focus more on David Cage games. This didn't go down to well as all anyone does on that forum is make jokes about Shenmue III. After many voiced how against this they were Yama gave in and let it stay in the lame state it's in. Many felt that Yama was pissed about this and may at anytime destroy the place so the members worked hard to bring Jeff back to life to fight alongside them. Now evreyone waits as the fight against Yama and Jeff is sure to happen at anytime. Category:Sites